Fact Vs Fiction

Well, as you know, I am at home a lot right now due to my illness, So I have taken in to a FICTION website a virtual world, where I go to enjoy and design and mingle. I have been shying away from it a lot, but I met a lot of good friends and some challenging ones there. But sometimes these people find it hard to separate fact from fiction….I just wonder how one is two keep from combining the two??? When one finds love on these sites a LDR develops, can you possible see a future with this person? Can you trust them to be who they say they are? Can you distinguish the virtual world relationship, from the reality world. What do you do if it intertwines? A lot of questions I guess, but I can really use the input cause I have a few friends that could you an outsiders advice……

There is only so much yahoo, or skype….Is it possible to having a blossoming romance long distance “LDR”… How do you maintain it? What types of things does one do to keep the interest and the spark? I need some food for thought…..

Quote of the day…..

“You’ve gotta dance like there’s nobody watching,
Love like you’ll never be hurt,
Sing like there’s nobody listening,
And live like it’s heaven on earth.” 
― William W. Purkey

The big move…+ Random thoughts

Well, a lot has been going on with me in the last few weeks since release from ICU, I have been off the medication and my body has been tossing me and turning me all around. For the most part I am exhausted and really in a daze. But, as time is passing, everything is getting clearer to me. My path is starting to be more in my face. I am still sick, I have Aura’s every other day and I have had the worst headaches of my life lately, but no seizures so that is a good thing. I have started walking more and working out my right leg and I can say it is starting to respond tremendously. I have permission to get on the treadmill and I am going to do just that. But that is enough about the progression of my health. I am surprised my modeling manager even still cared, cause he sent me a message the other day checking on me to see if I was getting better, and I told him I am on my way to stiletto’s. The first thing I am going to do once I get my body back right is to finally do my Fitness-modeling Calendar…………I guess I have a goal now….

I have been making some decisions as I walk the halls and rooms of my 3 bedroom home and decided that it is time for me to make a move out of Arizona. I have a tremendous amount of friends and family, but yet I have wallowed through this sickness without all of them, including my own father. My mom has been my rock through it all and she continues to support me through all my decisions. But I am ready to make a move. Everyone is suggesting places I should go even though I have a few places in mind. I will not reveal at this time. But I want new friends, different culture, new experiences, a new relationship, a fresh beginning. So I am going to put myself on a 9-12 month plan and I am going to start making moves. On to different portions of my life.

Well, I am back on friendly terms with a very special/close friend of mines, we used to have good conversation and enjoy each other’s silliness, till I was a fool and tossed it aside. Of course things are not the same as it was before and I can not say I blame her, cause I did hurt her, but, I feel as though now I am a different, stronger person that I was prior too.I made a lot of mistakes in my part, but God is my driver now. But that does not matter cause what happened happened. I allowed myself to believe that I can handle some things that I can’t. I was so emotional yesterday, that I was off in on in tears at a whim. I was thinking wow……Can you love someone from a distance and allow them to share that love with another in front of you I say to myself, hmm…Food for thought……,

I’m not so sure. Sometimes it is better to not follow your heart cause that ends in heartbreak and be logical and follow your mind…….But then you toss with the idea that if you don’t try how do you know how it will end. So it is a toss up….But I can say that love plays a strong part in my path……I guess my heart is too big….

 

Wiz

Love & Manipulation

“Love comes when manipulation stops; when you think more about the other person than about his or her reactions to you. When you dare to reveal yourself fully. When you dare to be vulnerable.”

Wiz………

Random Thoughts of Manipulation & “Co-Dependent”

Good Afternoon, I had a few random thoughts, and thought I would babble some………………..

Well, I have been loving my current drama free world, and I have learned that it is easier to keep the drama out of your life than I thought. Last night I received about 15-20 texts, 4 phone calls, an email and a tweet from the ex trying to pull me into her drama circle and I managed to not get pulled in and avoid that collision. I am so proud of myself, I think I finally realized I am over it & her, and that I can see her for what she was “Co-dependent” and I am not going to let her little guilt trips pull me back in. I am over it!!!! Normally I would have gotten sucked in to her begging and whining about how she has no friends, emotionally distraught and that I made her life better, but now I just see it for what it is , another form of manipulation…..Run along little woman  cause I am not having it. I deserve better. I am learning to love me and accept I do not deserve someone in my life that is self-fish and only out for self. I am learning to cater to the people that matter and I am putting me on the top of the list!!!!!!

Flashback on Situations………………..

How do you get released from ICU and receive all kind of text messages from someone talking about killing themselves, and lying about their grandmother having a stroke.What it to get a reaction from me and why would you think this is the right time? How do you call someone who is straight out of the intensive care unit expressing how emotionally distraught your life is? What kind of shit it that?  Why would you play with that kind of stuff and then send video’s of them playing with artillery. That is not the type of person I want in my life nor my girls.  Eyes Wide Open…..I see you for what you are….

Wiz